If you’d like to listen to this poem be read to you (nothing fancy here, I recorded it off my phone with a small stutter and all), here it is:
You could become incredibly dangerous. Not in a moment, but over time. If someone said, for example, “I believe you” over and over each time you thought you wouldn’t be believed, while you are telling tales horrific and tall-walking, tall-sounding said this like a magic charm to you, to the air surrounding you it could suspend time – for a moment – it could suspend disbelief itself, your own and others accumulated over time. it could lead you to tell yourself and others too, “I believe you.” Almost the best phrase in any language second only to “I love you” which when you finally hear “I believe you” you realize it pales in comparison. Believing is love being willing to look at itself. It could lead you to believe things you never thought you could. It could lead you to entertain all sorts of feelings and thoughts crazy ideas, to believe them, if just for an instant enough to understand them. Even casting them off, it would be more like rain falling and less like something that caustically pulled apart seams. Logic can be used to rip apart things, people, bodies until there is not much left but shreds and shrapnel of soul. You can dress it up well, but it will not be whole. You will no longer recognize yourself in the mirror. Belief is necessary. Belief is the basis of you surviving in this world. As a young child your parents believed you into being. You never stopped needing to be believed, did you? The power of belief is to call things into being that don’t yet exist. This is the danger of believing untrue things, unkind things, that maladies and illnesses abound. That kindness is a scant and fleeting memory you had from a long ago. Certainly, bad things exist. I’m not asking you to believe that they don’t. But you don’t have to believe that they hold the power to control everything you do, that pain has to shape every action you take, every thing you think. If you can call on belief to see what could be you could see things like: how you were never fully and totally alone, how you were loved at least once in one moment, how you could love someone or something small or sad once again and in that loving you could be opened up to believing in anything or anyone, eventually. If you ever held a small creature and willed it not to die, you believed in something. If you ever prayed to no god, only to the air to do well, to finally get there, to be happy, to be able to get through this thing, then you know what it means to open yourself up to belief. There is no god needed; the only necessary ingredient is imagining something else that does not yet know itself could come to know itself. Even you. - E. Ashley Shain
Songs:
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - “The Power of Love”
I just saw the 2023 movie All of Us Strangers, so I have to include this. Watch it. It’s an amazing queer love story, and so much more. It also has great Rotten Tomatoes ratings, if you’re into that sort of thing. As for the song, it brings all the 80’s cheese that you could promise, and yet I still think it is able to transmit something even through the cheese that is very moving (or maybe I am still just reeling from the movie and the song’s role in it! Find our for yourself ~)
Red Chili Peppers’ - “Snow (Hey Oh)”
Thank you for stopping by to read and listen! Please leave a comment using the button below with any thoughts, observations, songs, or poems that come to mind for you.
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No worries, I appreciate your presence here - definitely take care of your energy levels.
Oh, definitely! Someone said those specific words to me a few years ago and it had a profound effect on me at the time. Afterward I was able to share that phrase with some other people in my life at important moments of sharing/disclosure. They are magic words when you mean them, I think especially to other women (having cultural and personal experiences of others doubting womens' experiences or perceptions)
I think just in general though - compassion and attention are doorways we can be offered by others and in turn practice offering 🙂. Not being "nice," but being kind (which is sometimes firm!), as I've heard it phrased. The choice to walk through remains, I think. Some don't.
As a sidenote, I have just one tattoo on my wrist of a Greek word in faded blue (got it a decade ago) - the word represents "truth" not as inert fact (not "veritas") but as an active opening, a doorway, a frame, a portal, into something new that is found or uncovered.
“… in that
loving you could be opened up to believing in anything or anyone,
eventually.”
Love as a doorway? An invitation into deeper expansion of our hearts? That’s what came to me as I read this poem, especially these lines, and I felt my own heart opening more as I read you. < 3
I have so much love for All of Us Strangers too, and that’s just from the trailer, where I felt my heart opening too as I watched it. I remember thinking, “This movie is going to break my heart. And maybe put it back together again.” Thanks for reminding me I still have the actual movie to enjoy!
I’m sitting with the question of: how would it feel to believe myself more? To believe in myself more? And I think I’ll experiment with saying, “I believe you” to myself more as well, and see what happens.